Having self-confidence is something that most people have to work on daily. Regardless of their otherwise prideful demeanor, a majority of individuals in the modern world deal with low self-esteem. In fact, it’s one of the leading causes of anxiety, depression and suicide.
Obviously, the value of maintaining your dignity and feelings of self-worth in lieu of an insult is incredibly important. Not only can a strong sense of self help you accomplish goals but it can also save your life, or at least the quality of it.
10 Ways to Make Your Mind Bulletproof
To strengthen your resolve, you must follow these 10 simple guidelines:
1. Take Inventory of Yourself
The worst insults are the ones that come as a surprise. When someone tells us something about ourselves that we don’t know or haven’t taken the time to accept, it can do permanent damage to our self-esteem. Keep your wits about you by taking inventory of your physical, mental and emotional flaws and then work on accepting and appreciating the characteristics you can’t change. Children are most guilty of this. Without thinking of your feelings they mock your appearance. “Wow, Uncle Tom, you have a big nose!” Realise that they intend no malice in this case.
It’s important to know your physical faults, if you think of them as that way and learn to live with them.
Thousands of short people world over opt for the painful leg-lengthening procedure to make themselves an inch or two taller. This effort is better spent in cultivating your self-esteem or developing a new hobby.
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2. Know the Difference
When taking inventory of yourself, it’s vital that you understand the difference between the things you need to work on and the things that make you a unique individual. Don’t allow your self-examination turn into a self-depreciating exercise that ruins your whole outlook on life. For example, personality defects and anti-social behaviors are things that should be changed. However, you can’t do anything about being too short. Know the difference and start appreciating the one-of-a-kind part you play on the stage of life.
3. Understand You’re a Rare Occurrence
Do you realize how truly special you are? Think about this: either you believe in evolution and you’re made from star dust tumbling through a series of incomprehensible coincidences or you believe in a creator and you’re made for a specific purpose in an artfully filled garden just outside the gates of paradise. Regardless of which point-of-view you subscribe to, you’re measurably magnificent and worthwhile, even if another limited-capacity human being doesn’t openly admit it.
FACT: Usually, unwarranted insults are due to a personality defect in the other person. So, you can consider an attack on your self-esteem a cloaked cry for help.
4. Remember the People Who Value You
Because you are so worthwhile and wonderful, it’s likely that you have plenty of people in your life who value you. Even if you’re mostly alone, we never really know whose lives and hearts we’ve touched. Try to remember the folks who think highly of you and let go of the negative comments that dare to steal your self-esteem. Pull from your past or think of your future if you have to.
5. Appreciate the Fact that We All Have Regrets
Can you think of one person in your life who has never once said something they regret? Most of us are guilty of saying things we don’t really mean from time to time. The same could be said about the person who just attacked your self-esteem. Chances are, they just let a rough-draft version of how they truly feel slip and they actually have a totally different opinion of you. Add in the fact that human beings notoriously allow our emotions to control us and you have a quick and easy recipe for regret. Give the other person, and yourself, more credit than that.
6. Read Between the Lines
There are times when an insult means so much more than outright disapproval. Consider this: If the other person didn’t have high expectations of you, would they have insulted you? It could be that the stab to your self-esteem was simply a nudge to do better – a cloaked expression of appreciation for being regularly awesome enough to avoid such an insult.
7. Stop Caring So Much about What Others Think of You
While it may seem harsh, not caring too much about the opinions of others is a great way to develop a bulletproof mind that’s not as susceptible to insults and attacks on your self-worth. If you know you’re a good person, if you work hard for the things you want, and if you treat others with respect, there’s no reason for someone to give you grief. Try to keep that in mind while remembering that others’ opinions of you are usually based on incomplete or biased information.
8. Remind Yourself of Your Good Qualities
When someone says or does something that ruins your day and challenges your self-esteem, it’s important to have a conversation with yourself. Although it may seem pointless or even crazy, self-dialogue is quite helpful. On a daily basis, remind yourself of the good characteristics you have. If possible, do it while looking into a mirror and making direct eye contact with yourself. You’ll be surprised by how effective it is to become your own best friend.
Unshakable Confidence: Become 100% Secure in Who You Are
9. Post Flattering Materials Where You Can See Them
They say your home is for self-expression, not first impression. Your home is also your safe-haven and oasis, a place you can go to feel safe, secure and accepted. That’s why posting uplifting and flattering materials throughout your home can transform your mind and make it bulletproof against shots at your self-esteem. Whether it be pictures, achievements or notes, make sure you put them up where you (and other people) can see them all the time. There’s a reason why successful people adorn their living rooms with pictures of diplomas and medals they’ve won.
10. Don’t Forget that Life Is Short
Letting the opinions and comments of others dictate the quality of your life is ridiculous, not to mention unfair. As far as any of us know, life is very short. Allowing your self-image to be determined by someone else’s point-of-view is the same as handing over several hours or days of your life to another individual. You cannot get that time back, nor can you change everyone’s mind when it comes to their opinion of you. Trying to do so is an exercise in futility that will eventually turn into a never-ending battle that rages in your heart. Don’t live your life like that.
Well stated. A worthwhile checklist.